How to Have Sex Without Thinking of Your Own Orgasm (And Why You Should Try It)

By Key Barrett

I know what you are thinking after reading my title. What is that and what is the point? Ok, that’s a valid question. First, a definition. It’s a sex act where you consciously accept that you will not have an orgasm, or focus on your pleasure at all. It sounds counter-intuitive. From a purely biological standpoint, there really is no reason to attempt sex with a goal of voiding out your sexual needs and desire for orgasm. And honestly, when we are in the throes of passionate sex, it’s hard not to think of it as a purely biological act driving toward an inevitable conclusion.

How Mistress Michelle Lacy Inspired A Vast Collection of New Femdom Art

by Dirk Hooper

@DrPonyBatBond began by creating his own femdom artwork for Mistress Michelle Lacy, then started commissioning art from creators around the world. He’s been responsible for bringing a considerable collection of femdom art to us that wouldn’t exist otherwise.

This is a fascinating story that is informative about femdom, a Dominant/submissive relationship, and the power of art.

Here is my interview with @DrPonyBatBond and Mistress Michelle Lacy about who they are, about femdom art, and what it means to them.

Interview with @DrPonyBatBond


Art by @mooneaterart

How far back does your obsession with dominant women go? How did it all begin?

Thank Heaven for the Professional Dominatrix! by Dirk Hooper

Professional Dominatrix Phoenix Steele shared an opinion on Facebook, “I’m sick of seeing Lifestyle Domme’s talk shit to a submissive just because he’s seen a ProDomme a few times!! Ladies that’s kink shaming-KNOCK IT OFF!!!”

My expanded response to that post is below.


I’ve been in the BDSM community for 20 years. I count professional dominatrices as some of my best friends, clients, and lovers. I’m familiar with both sides of this issue.

Over the years I’ve heard countless stories (and seen a few myself) about how professional dominatrices have been poorly treated by the BDSM community, and now I’m honestly shocked to hear that submissives also bear some burden for seeing professionals.

It’s time to stop.

Interview with FemDom Messenging Site FINmessage

Are you inundated with requests to chat? If you’re interested in monetizing your texts, whether you’re a Professional Dominatrix, or FinDom, or Fetish Model, or really anyone else, then FINmessage might interest you.

We talked with the founder of FINmessage to describe the service, and we’re including photos of some of the women who are using FINmessage to communicate with slaves and fans.

What is FINmessage?

FINmessage is a new kind of community and Chat Website. User can pay per message, pay per view and sending tributes. The Pro User, mostly “Findoms” right now, are verified. You can also upload photos, like and comment photos and also tip good photos.

The Shame of Feeling Ashamed by Thimble

I told three friends the other day that I wrote BDSM erotica. I even gave them my pseudonym so they could read it. They are the 3rd, 4th and 5th people I’ve told since I started publishing my work in December. I’m not out as a submissive to many people, obviously, and sharing my writing essentially outs me, as it’s all about femdom and it wouldn’t take a genius to put it together. But telling these friends felt right. These are good people: the kind who see the weird in you and like you more for it. After telling them, I quickly said: “Don’t think just because I write about it that I want it to happen to me, ok? A lot of stuff is just for the story. It’s not me. Ok?”

I was lying. I want most what I write about to happen to me. And the things I think they would be most shocked by, the things I was thinking of when I said that to them: I especially want that. I want to be put over someone’s knee and spanked for not making the bed correctly. I want someone to make me eat oatmeal drenched in her piss. A part of me is ashamed of wanting that. And a larger part of me is ashamed for feeling that shame.

Findom 101 by Von Nette

I have strong opinions on topics that are My passion. I want to get right to the point, starting with the topic that’s My greatest passion… Financial Domination.

What a beautiful fetish! Too bad that it has such a questionable reputation. It’s a huge taboo and I’m tired of keeping this wonderful fetish a secret. That will end now. I am the one who will break that taboo!

Obviously, each Dominatrix has her own ways of working but, I’m here to tell you My way and My outlook on these subjects! Grab your notebooks and get ready to be intrigued, here comes FinDom 101 with VonNette!

From strong bonds between subs and their Dommes, to different kinks that are unique and must be treated with respect, I think it is time that I shed some light on the mystery called FinDom.

My Descent Into Synn – Guest Post

Miss Sadie Synn's journey into finding her authentic self.

Guest Post by Miss Sadie Synn

 

As a FemDom, it is empowering to stand above a kneeling submissive, as they kiss my boots or serve me. Surrendering control is one of the most precious gifts one can give. I love others giving that to me. The first part of my journey, I started as a slave but it was obvious that I wasn't fit for that role. I knew I was a dominant after that, but I had no confidence in myself.

As I started slowly progressing through my transition I realized that should become my primary focus. In 2014, I was able to begin hormone replacement therapy (HRT). I was blown away by how much change I experienced after just a year of HRT. In truth, it took so long because I had felt resigned to transitioning. Years later, I discovered this was due to PTSD from childhood abuse. I knew myself, but I had not found that certain je ne sais quoi. Although I needed to put myself out there as a Lifestyle Domme, I had no confidence in myself. I had been a hermit for the last five, years so I had absolutely nothing to lose! At worst there would be no change and my situation would be the same.

For the first six months of being a Domme in the lifestyle, it was rough. I didn’t know what I was doing. I had a background from the other side and lots of involvement assisting in scenes, but I no experience being the one in control. I needed to learn how to tactfully stick up for myself while subtly using my femininity. Then I had my first really hot scene. After negotiations, a masochist guided me through using canes. I was hooked.

Being a FemDom helps affirm my own femininity and that may be my favorite thing about it. I often hear trans-women talk about that affirmation from sex with a partner who truly sees them as them, as a woman. My history is complicated when it comes to sex. It carries emotional labor for me because my needs can’t be met.

That said, being a FemDom allows me to feel that affirmation without the emotional labor. That look in my slave’s eyes when they call me Mistress makes my soul sing. Allowing my natural feminine energy to flow through a scene or session erases all the years of physical and verbal trauma I experienced for just being me. What once was the bane of my existence became my strongest strength and it did wonders for my personal well-being. It allowed me to go through TSA with double D’s and an ID with my birth gender.

While serving my country and volunteering did make me feel good about myself, they didn’t let me respect me for who I was. Being a Femdom did. Being in control over submissives and slaves that consensually chose to kneel before me did. With my power being non-consensually taken from me as a child, having others surrender theirs willingly is some of the best therapy in the world.

 

Miss Sadie Synn is a Powerful, Statuesque, Intimidating lifestyle Domme. Standing 6'5"-- without heels--she enjoys using her Goddess-like allure to dominate her slaves. Sadie developed a passion for paddles while being trained in Austin ,TX. This led her to be a Master paddle maker, and her craftsmanship has been felt by many lucky bottoms in the mid-west. She specializes in: paddling, boot and body worship, tease and denial, violet wand play, and being a puppy handler. She is always looking to learn and explore.
 
Sadie has been interviewed by Dr. Sue Storm and for Broadly in Vice Magazine, along with an appearance on the Doctor Susan Block Show. Miss Sadie Synn is a Presenter, and board Liaison on Central Iowa Power Exchange. She volunteers weekly for the local PRIDE center, assisting with the largest LGBTQIA library in the area. Sadie operates a private dungeon doing shoots and sessions, in a quiet neighborhood in Central Iowa.
 
Find her personally at @SadieSynn or at her Dungeon @House_Of_Synn.

It’s Mixtrix’ World by Miss Kate

She could own you, if she wanted to.

It’s Her World, She Just Lets You Live in It

A Profile on MixTrix by Miss Kate

I don’t idolize Dommes because I’m afraid that I’m going to unconsciously (or consciously) rip off their style. This isn’t to say that I don’t admire or enjoy other Dommes work. I would be lying if I said I didn’t. There are a handful of Dommes that I admire greatly and who inspire me to explore things I may not have previously thought of. MixTrix is probably number one on my list of Dommes that inspire me. She so graciously allowed me to ask her a few questions on her world as a cruel with a sense of humor lifestyle and pro Domme.

A Lesbian Domme Who Dominates Men – Guest Post by Goddess Cassidy

 

 

How Can a Lesbian Dominate a Man?

Guest Post by Goddess Cassidy

Of all the ways I surprise strange men on the Internet, being a lesbian Domme is the one thing that shocks them the most. Although I am not an extreme rarity, I have noticed that lesbians who dominate men are a minority. Yes, it is unconventional. But it is completely and totally worth it.

Let us get something out of the way right now . . . Dominating men does not get me sexually aroused. That should not come as a surprise, but I have encountered many men online who were downright appalled that I would be a Domme for a living and not enjoy it sexually. I have even been called fake for it. Here is the thing though: There are tons of Dommes who are attracted to men and do not get turned on by their sessions. Why? Well, because it is their job, and it is not necessary for us to get turned on to succeed at what we do.

I always tell skeptics that, if anything, it is a strength. Never chancing the distraction of attraction makes it easy to keep a level head and concentrate on my job. Of course, that in no way means I think I am better than Dommes who are attracted to men. But I also do not think I am a lesser Domme because of my sexual orientation.

For some subs, it makes it even more exciting knowing that they would never in a million years be able to have me. Whatever little fantasies they come up with in their heads have absolutely zero chance of becoming a reality. It can sometimes be an extra fun way to torment them. However, for other subs who attempt to contact me, it can make them irrationally angry.

 

"For some subs, it makes it even more exciting knowing that they would never in a million years be able to have me."

 

For instance, I once did a Kik session with a man and before we began, I asked what his limits were and I told him mine. Then in the middle of the session, he starts making me quite uncomfortable. He asks me if he can touch himself, and I tell him not yet. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Just being a Domme and exercising my right to tease and torment. Then he starts saying rather inappropriate things to me. He tells me that if he was with me, he would fuck me. I immediately shut him down and told him exactly what I thought of his nasty comments. He apologized, and I decided that if he could behave himself, the session could continue. He agreed, and then starts getting angry that I have not let him touch himself. Before I can tell him to go to hell, my timer goes off and the session is over. He is extremely angry and tells me that I am awful at my job. I tell him that if he would have behaved himself, he would have had more time to enjoy the session.

Now, this situation would not have been okay in any case, even with a straight Domme. However, I firmly believe that having the knowledge of my orientation made him attempt to push things further than he should have. There are always men who think they can get away with things and love trying to push lesbian Dommes to do things they are not comfortable with. I have even had strange subs on the internet threaten to track me down and force themselves on me to turn me straight. Quite an unsettling DM to receive.

Being a lesbian Domme who dominates men is an interesting ride. We are a small group, often accused of being fake, threatened, etc. But we are also incredibly strong women who know that, for some subs, we are adding to the excitement, therefore making our careers thrive beyond our wildest dreams.

My name is Goddess Cassidy! I'm a sassy, smart, and sexy 21-year-old American girl. I've been a dominant lady my whole life, but I've been a professional online Domme for a couple years now. In addition to domination, I've been selling panties and other fetish items since I was 18. My career as a clip producer began at that time as well. I'm great at what I do, and I have such a fun time doing it!

Find me at:

https://t.co/ot5FGOmmJ8

https://t.co/hOTHNPwL6v

https://t.co/MyPtcefbDo

https://t.co/Fo7AumQ4LW

Top Dropping – Dommes Can Drop Too by Miss Kate

Yes, a Domme is a Real Human, with Real Human Emotions

By Feature Writer Miss Kate

I am sure anyone reading this is well aware of the term “sub dropping”. For those of you who are new, it is the state that can happen after a sub leaves subspace. During subspace, the body releases all type of feel good hormones and chemicals, often giving them a “high” feeling. It can last anywhere from hours to days. And they usually do not want to leave the wonderful blissful state they are in.

However, what goes up, must come down

As the sub’s endorphins drop, there can be a mixed bag of things going on from physical to emotional. A drop can happen even after just one session. They may get the blues, they may feel aches and pains, tiredness, and the list goes on. The way the endorphins leave the body so rapidly can be likened to a hangover or an opiate withdrawal. Sometimes, it can even lead into a depression. This is why aftercare is so very important. There are different degrees of drop, but I will save that for another time.

The Top Drop

What is often lesser known or talked about however, is Top dropping. Yes, Tops can drop. I will be honest, in my whole six-year career as a Pro-Domme, I had never even heard of Top drop. That is, until I dropped myself. I had no clue what the hell was going on. All I knew was that, out of nowhere, I got deeply upset. I started to rant and rave to a few close friends that I was a terrible Domme and that I was quitting altogether. I was truly baffled by my feelings. Until someone in my group privately messaged me and told me what was up! She said “Look, you’re fine. You’re just dropping.”. Of course, my natural reaction was, “What? No, I am not. Tops don’t drop”. She then gently explained to me how and why Tops can drop.

Well of course Tops can drop. Sometimes, it is easy to forget that we are, in fact, mere humans. Whether you are a lifestyle, pro, or both, sometimes it is easy for your ego to get inflated, especially when you are constantly being put on a pedestal. When you are constantly the one in the driver’s seat, calling all the shots, it is easy to go on a power trip. It itself can give you a high. A lifestyle Domme can feel it a bit more roughly because play sessions are going to have a huge element of intimacy to it. But even a Domme who is strictly pro can have an intense session where emotions run high, endorphins a-flowing adrenaline a-pumping. Afterwards, something just seems . . . amiss. I have heard Dommes describe it as feeling “weird” before.

Symptoms of  Top dropping?

Essentially, they are the same as a sub drop. Both Tops and subs experience euphoria during a session, and both can experience sadness, anxiety, and worry afterwards. But there is one glaring difference: Top drops often include feelings of guilt. Perhaps there are feelings of crossing a line, or that you may have been to rough, possibly you were a little bit too intense.

What Can a Top Do?

So, if aftercare is important in easing a sub out of subspace gently and hopefully minimizing the chance of a drop, what can a Top do to prevent or while dropping? I am not too sure if there are many preventive measures, per se, since you never know how a scene will play out. But while your dropping you must primarily recognize it for what it is; a drop. Take part in activities that engage you; read a book; watch a comedy; occupy yourself with your hobby; take general “me” time. This, too, shall pass. Do not think of giving in or up. Do not change your practise of doing things if it is what works for you. And if you are feeling super intense or depressed, communicate with your sub (if possible). Despite them being your submissive, they do realize you are human and have human emotions.

And lastly, just like you would make sure your sub was well hydrated and has had a healthy meal, make sure you do that yourself.