The Shame of Feeling Ashamed by Thimble

I told three friends the other day that I wrote BDSM erotica. I even gave them my pseudonym so they could read it. They are the 3rd, 4th and 5th people I’ve told since I started publishing my work in December. I’m not out as a submissive to many people, obviously, and sharing my writing essentially outs me, as it’s all about femdom and it wouldn’t take a genius to put it together. But telling these friends felt right. These are good people: the kind who see the weird in you and like you more for it. After telling them, I quickly said: “Don’t think just because I write about it that I want it to happen to me, ok? A lot of stuff is just for the story. It’s not me. Ok?”

I was lying. I want most what I write about to happen to me. And the things I think they would be most shocked by, the things I was thinking of when I said that to them: I especially want that. I want to be put over someone’s knee and spanked for not making the bed correctly. I want someone to make me eat oatmeal drenched in her piss. A part of me is ashamed of wanting that. And a larger part of me is ashamed for feeling that shame.

Findom 101 by Von Nette

I have strong opinions on topics that are My passion. I want to get right to the point, starting with the topic that’s My greatest passion… Financial Domination.

What a beautiful fetish! Too bad that it has such a questionable reputation. It’s a huge taboo and I’m tired of keeping this wonderful fetish a secret. That will end now. I am the one who will break that taboo!

Obviously, each Dominatrix has her own ways of working but, I’m here to tell you My way and My outlook on these subjects! Grab your notebooks and get ready to be intrigued, here comes FinDom 101 with VonNette!

From strong bonds between subs and their Dommes, to different kinks that are unique and must be treated with respect, I think it is time that I shed some light on the mystery called FinDom.

Feature Gallery: Mistress Amanda

Mistress Amanda
Dublin, Ireland

 

 

Bio for Mistress Amanda

“I am MISTRESS AMANDA, a demanding and seductive, yet very strict real life Mistress!

I am a psychological Seductress and a Master manipulator. The psyche of the mind is my speciality. Brace yourself, i am going to mindfuck you and you will thank me for that!

I am inquisitive and i find the mind a wonderous thing wich invites so many ideas to come and play.

I do not have a certain style as i can only be myself. As a Dominatrix, you cannot act, but just be.

Halloween Photos from Dominatrix and Fetish Models

Photo by Dirk Hooper – Model is Vanity

Dominatrix, and the fetish community in general, always have amazing costumes for Halloween. Twitter was ablaze this year with plenty of Dommes and fetish models who were showing off their creations this year.

DommeLinx grabbed some of the best Halloween photos for this piece, but there’s no way we could ever cover all the great photos that were out there. If you missed out this time, please tag us in your Halloween posts (follow and engage with us here) and we’ll catch you next year.

Enjoy this gallery, and please leave your comments below.

Gallery Showcase: Miss Lydia

Miss Lydia

Chicago, Illinois

 

Miss Lydia Bio

I am an independent Dom with 9 years of professional experience, having both commercial dungeon and fetish event experience. I cater to MOST fetishes from the vanilla to the hardcore. Be mindful that my ad is for those who are interested in BDSM/fetish/kink-related sessions prior to contacting me. Booking a session requires a minimum of 3 hours notice by phone call at 312-841-5254. I am available most days 10am-midnight (not available Tuesdays). 

It’s Mixtrix’ World by Miss Kate

She could own you, if she wanted to.

It’s Her World, She Just Lets You Live in It

A Profile on MixTrix by Miss Kate

I don’t idolize Dommes because I’m afraid that I’m going to unconsciously (or consciously) rip off their style. This isn’t to say that I don’t admire or enjoy other Dommes work. I would be lying if I said I didn’t. There are a handful of Dommes that I admire greatly and who inspire me to explore things I may not have previously thought of. MixTrix is probably number one on my list of Dommes that inspire me. She so graciously allowed me to ask her a few questions on her world as a cruel with a sense of humor lifestyle and pro Domme.

A Lesbian Domme Who Dominates Men – Guest Post by Goddess Cassidy

 

 

How Can a Lesbian Dominate a Man?

Guest Post by Goddess Cassidy

Of all the ways I surprise strange men on the Internet, being a lesbian Domme is the one thing that shocks them the most. Although I am not an extreme rarity, I have noticed that lesbians who dominate men are a minority. Yes, it is unconventional. But it is completely and totally worth it.

Let us get something out of the way right now . . . Dominating men does not get me sexually aroused. That should not come as a surprise, but I have encountered many men online who were downright appalled that I would be a Domme for a living and not enjoy it sexually. I have even been called fake for it. Here is the thing though: There are tons of Dommes who are attracted to men and do not get turned on by their sessions. Why? Well, because it is their job, and it is not necessary for us to get turned on to succeed at what we do.

I always tell skeptics that, if anything, it is a strength. Never chancing the distraction of attraction makes it easy to keep a level head and concentrate on my job. Of course, that in no way means I think I am better than Dommes who are attracted to men. But I also do not think I am a lesser Domme because of my sexual orientation.

For some subs, it makes it even more exciting knowing that they would never in a million years be able to have me. Whatever little fantasies they come up with in their heads have absolutely zero chance of becoming a reality. It can sometimes be an extra fun way to torment them. However, for other subs who attempt to contact me, it can make them irrationally angry.

 

"For some subs, it makes it even more exciting knowing that they would never in a million years be able to have me."

 

For instance, I once did a Kik session with a man and before we began, I asked what his limits were and I told him mine. Then in the middle of the session, he starts making me quite uncomfortable. He asks me if he can touch himself, and I tell him not yet. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Just being a Domme and exercising my right to tease and torment. Then he starts saying rather inappropriate things to me. He tells me that if he was with me, he would fuck me. I immediately shut him down and told him exactly what I thought of his nasty comments. He apologized, and I decided that if he could behave himself, the session could continue. He agreed, and then starts getting angry that I have not let him touch himself. Before I can tell him to go to hell, my timer goes off and the session is over. He is extremely angry and tells me that I am awful at my job. I tell him that if he would have behaved himself, he would have had more time to enjoy the session.

Now, this situation would not have been okay in any case, even with a straight Domme. However, I firmly believe that having the knowledge of my orientation made him attempt to push things further than he should have. There are always men who think they can get away with things and love trying to push lesbian Dommes to do things they are not comfortable with. I have even had strange subs on the internet threaten to track me down and force themselves on me to turn me straight. Quite an unsettling DM to receive.

Being a lesbian Domme who dominates men is an interesting ride. We are a small group, often accused of being fake, threatened, etc. But we are also incredibly strong women who know that, for some subs, we are adding to the excitement, therefore making our careers thrive beyond our wildest dreams.

My name is Goddess Cassidy! I'm a sassy, smart, and sexy 21-year-old American girl. I've been a dominant lady my whole life, but I've been a professional online Domme for a couple years now. In addition to domination, I've been selling panties and other fetish items since I was 18. My career as a clip producer began at that time as well. I'm great at what I do, and I have such a fun time doing it!

Find me at:

https://t.co/ot5FGOmmJ8

https://t.co/hOTHNPwL6v

https://t.co/MyPtcefbDo

https://t.co/Fo7AumQ4LW

Top Dropping – Dommes Can Drop Too by Miss Kate

Yes, a Domme is a Real Human, with Real Human Emotions

By Feature Writer Miss Kate

I am sure anyone reading this is well aware of the term “sub dropping”. For those of you who are new, it is the state that can happen after a sub leaves subspace. During subspace, the body releases all type of feel good hormones and chemicals, often giving them a “high” feeling. It can last anywhere from hours to days. And they usually do not want to leave the wonderful blissful state they are in.

However, what goes up, must come down

As the sub’s endorphins drop, there can be a mixed bag of things going on from physical to emotional. A drop can happen even after just one session. They may get the blues, they may feel aches and pains, tiredness, and the list goes on. The way the endorphins leave the body so rapidly can be likened to a hangover or an opiate withdrawal. Sometimes, it can even lead into a depression. This is why aftercare is so very important. There are different degrees of drop, but I will save that for another time.

The Top Drop

What is often lesser known or talked about however, is Top dropping. Yes, Tops can drop. I will be honest, in my whole six-year career as a Pro-Domme, I had never even heard of Top drop. That is, until I dropped myself. I had no clue what the hell was going on. All I knew was that, out of nowhere, I got deeply upset. I started to rant and rave to a few close friends that I was a terrible Domme and that I was quitting altogether. I was truly baffled by my feelings. Until someone in my group privately messaged me and told me what was up! She said “Look, you’re fine. You’re just dropping.”. Of course, my natural reaction was, “What? No, I am not. Tops don’t drop”. She then gently explained to me how and why Tops can drop.

Well of course Tops can drop. Sometimes, it is easy to forget that we are, in fact, mere humans. Whether you are a lifestyle, pro, or both, sometimes it is easy for your ego to get inflated, especially when you are constantly being put on a pedestal. When you are constantly the one in the driver’s seat, calling all the shots, it is easy to go on a power trip. It itself can give you a high. A lifestyle Domme can feel it a bit more roughly because play sessions are going to have a huge element of intimacy to it. But even a Domme who is strictly pro can have an intense session where emotions run high, endorphins a-flowing adrenaline a-pumping. Afterwards, something just seems . . . amiss. I have heard Dommes describe it as feeling “weird” before.

Symptoms of  Top dropping?

Essentially, they are the same as a sub drop. Both Tops and subs experience euphoria during a session, and both can experience sadness, anxiety, and worry afterwards. But there is one glaring difference: Top drops often include feelings of guilt. Perhaps there are feelings of crossing a line, or that you may have been to rough, possibly you were a little bit too intense.

What Can a Top Do?

So, if aftercare is important in easing a sub out of subspace gently and hopefully minimizing the chance of a drop, what can a Top do to prevent or while dropping? I am not too sure if there are many preventive measures, per se, since you never know how a scene will play out. But while your dropping you must primarily recognize it for what it is; a drop. Take part in activities that engage you; read a book; watch a comedy; occupy yourself with your hobby; take general “me” time. This, too, shall pass. Do not think of giving in or up. Do not change your practise of doing things if it is what works for you. And if you are feeling super intense or depressed, communicate with your sub (if possible). Despite them being your submissive, they do realize you are human and have human emotions.

And lastly, just like you would make sure your sub was well hydrated and has had a healthy meal, make sure you do that yourself.

Dirk Hooper Rebrands and Relaunches Female Domination Website DommeLinx

Professional fetish photographer Dirk Hooper has relaunched and rebranded the female domination website Dommelinx.com with a new mission and a considerable upgrade in promotion and content. He will be the owner and Editor in Chief of the website.

“I’m very excited about the possibilities of providing a new avenue for professional dominatrix, and female dominants in general, to share news, get quality information, and have a positive sympathetic site where they can get some promotion for their services or projects,” Dirk Hooper said.

In addition to the original mission of DommeLinx to present news, interviews and galleries featuring dominatrix, the site will be expanding original content to including articles, in-depth profiles, industry information, and a few surprises.

DommeLinx will be actively seeking news, photos, and interviews with female dominants. The editors will also be looking for fresh voices that want to contribute to the site as well. Additional announcements on that front are coming soon.

If you are interested in more information or an interview with Dirk Hooper, please contact info@sightkey.com.  More information about DommeLinx is available at http://dommelinx.com.

 


 

Dirk Hooper is a professional fetish photographer, published writer, podcasting producer and host, journalist for the fetish community, BDSM mentor, audiobook narrator and personal branding consultant. 

As a fine-art fetish photographer, Hooper’s work has been exhibited in England, the Netherlands, Belgium, China and all over the United States.  His work is part of the permanent collections of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University and the Leather Archives and Museum in Chicago, Illinois. Dirk Hooper’s work has been published in magazines like Skin Two, Von Gutenberg, Fet Erotica and Sinical Magazine.  His work was published in the German hardcover art book “Fetish Fantasies: The Best of International Fetish Photography.” He has done professional photography for bands, books, posters and the adult film industry.  Hooper co-founded the alternative modeling site Toxic Goddess.  He offers his photography services for portraits and commercial projects.

Hooper’s articles have recently been published at Business Insider, Inc. Magazine, the Huffington Post, Slate Magazine, The Sporting News, MSN Sport, and Quartz. He has won the Quora Top Writer award for the past two years. He has also been published as a comic writer, a poet and numerous copywriting assignments for professional and private clients. He is currently working on an erotic novel and a non-fiction book about social networking.

Dirk Hooper is the Host and Executive Producer of “The Fetish Show.”  He has also recently launched a new podcast about success and inspiration titled, “The Dirk Side.” Hooper has been podcasting since 2005 and has produced hundreds of hours of shows over several networks. His first audiobook narration was for the Suzanne Steele novel “Glazov.”

Dirk Hooper does journalism for the BDSM and fetish community through The Fetish Show News, FETISHWEEK articles, the Daily Fetish Chronicle and freelance writing.  Hooper’s award-winning website, http://www.DirkHooper.com features a gallery of his work, informational articles and is the home of “FETISHWEEK.” 

Hooper’s inspiration for his work is an extension of his interests and experience in the BDSM and fetish community.  He is a BDSM mentor and has helped guide or train both dominants and submissives.

Hooper works as a consultant on personal branding, social networking, SEO, copywriting, design and marketing through his Sexy Networking business at http://SexyNetworking.com