Yes, a Domme is a Real Human, with Real Human Emotions
By Feature Writer Miss Kate
I am sure anyone reading this is well aware of the term “sub dropping”. For those of you who are new, it is the state that can happen after a sub leaves subspace. During subspace, the body releases all type of feel good hormones and chemicals, often giving them a “high” feeling. It can last anywhere from hours to days. And they usually do not want to leave the wonderful blissful state they are in.
However, what goes up, must come down
As the sub’s endorphins drop, there can be a mixed bag of things going on from physical to emotional. A drop can happen even after just one session. They may get the blues, they may feel aches and pains, tiredness, and the list goes on. The way the endorphins leave the body so rapidly can be likened to a hangover or an opiate withdrawal. Sometimes, it can even lead into a depression. This is why aftercare is so very important. There are different degrees of drop, but I will save that for another time.
The Top Drop
What is often lesser known or talked about however, is Top dropping. Yes, Tops can drop. I will be honest, in my whole six-year career as a Pro-Domme, I had never even heard of Top drop. That is, until I dropped myself. I had no clue what the hell was going on. All I knew was that, out of nowhere, I got deeply upset. I started to rant and rave to a few close friends that I was a terrible Domme and that I was quitting altogether. I was truly baffled by my feelings. Until someone in my group privately messaged me and told me what was up! She said “Look, you’re fine. You’re just dropping.”. Of course, my natural reaction was, “What? No, I am not. Tops don’t drop”. She then gently explained to me how and why Tops can drop.
Well of course Tops can drop. Sometimes, it is easy to forget that we are, in fact, mere humans. Whether you are a lifestyle, pro, or both, sometimes it is easy for your ego to get inflated, especially when you are constantly being put on a pedestal. When you are constantly the one in the driver’s seat, calling all the shots, it is easy to go on a power trip. It itself can give you a high. A lifestyle Domme can feel it a bit more roughly because play sessions are going to have a huge element of intimacy to it. But even a Domme who is strictly pro can have an intense session where emotions run high, endorphins a-flowing adrenaline a-pumping. Afterwards, something just seems . . . amiss. I have heard Dommes describe it as feeling “weird” before.
Symptoms of Top dropping?
Essentially, they are the same as a sub drop. Both Tops and subs experience euphoria during a session, and both can experience sadness, anxiety, and worry afterwards. But there is one glaring difference: Top drops often include feelings of guilt. Perhaps there are feelings of crossing a line, or that you may have been to rough, possibly you were a little bit too intense.
What Can a Top Do?
So, if aftercare is important in easing a sub out of subspace gently and hopefully minimizing the chance of a drop, what can a Top do to prevent or while dropping? I am not too sure if there are many preventive measures, per se, since you never know how a scene will play out. But while your dropping you must primarily recognize it for what it is; a drop. Take part in activities that engage you; read a book; watch a comedy; occupy yourself with your hobby; take general “me” time. This, too, shall pass. Do not think of giving in or up. Do not change your practise of doing things if it is what works for you. And if you are feeling super intense or depressed, communicate with your sub (if possible). Despite them being your submissive, they do realize you are human and have human emotions.
And lastly, just like you would make sure your sub was well hydrated and has had a healthy meal, make sure you do that yourself.