Devan DeSade Explains Being a Pro-Switch, Professionally
There is a flavour cornucopia in the Ice Cream Parlour of Life, ranging from dominance to submission with a whole spectrum in between. Some incredible people have chosen professional careers in either. But a less commonly known element of the kink industry is the Pro-Switch, the mix of tastes and talents. Welcome to my world.
Femdoms are beautiful and powerful women who are naturally in control. Pro-Dommes are in control by nature of their career. I’m neither because I sometimes choose to give up my power, and at other times, have a sub kneeling before me. The world of the switch is unique and often misunderstood by both Dommes and subs. I will give you the benefit by assuming you’ve heard, “never cross a switch,” often by a cheeky Domme or a passionate sub. The phrase itself could be broken down sub-culturally and linguistically, like what does “cross” really mean? But I digress . . .
I identify with elements of both Pro-Dommes and Pro-Subs. The cleverness, panache, and integrity of Dommes resonate with me. But the trust, honesty, and openness of Pro-Subs are gorgeous in its own right. Dommes inspire me because I aspire to be one; Subs intrigue me. Both require incredible amounts of similar but different energy release, and the biggest exploration for me is discovering those nooks and crannies. Craving the deepest depths of submission, the highest galaxies of domination, and all the geological marvels in between.
I love being beaten but I absolutely adore beating others. I use phrases as a Domme that had been uttered to me as a sub, leaving me wet with surrender. The impact the Domme has on me is heightened because I can understand how wonderfully wicked they are. Using these principles when I am a Domme allows me to send others into that beautiful subspace I previously occupied. It is a compliment to those I have subbed to.
Often, other’s confusion comes in the form of understanding the switch’s headspace. This can easily turn into a 2007-esque argument about gays being “just like you.” These spaces correlate with those of Doms and subs, unless I am with another switch, where interchanging power is the point. It’s almost living vicariously: while submitting shows me how powerful Dommes are and how passionately they have crafted the scene, I enjoy dominating because I know the fulfilling feeling of the other end.
For myself, being a Domme in subspace is easier than the other way around. I can serve who I am Domming by nature of my slavery. Being a sub still in a Domme headspace is somewhat harder. I need to be put in my place or reminded of whom I serve in order to submit: I need to be told what I really am.
Being a Pro-Switch allows me to be my most authentic self. I can be quiet and mysterious: will I beat the shit out of you, or beg and plead otherwise? Depending on my mood or scene, I can wear restraints, wield a flogger, or show off thigh high boots (sometimes all at once). Only the one who owns me knows where the true power lies. To everyone else, I am an unobtainable submissive and a Domme just out of reach.
Some pro and lifestyle switches that have rebranded to become dominants, are respectfully waiting to earn the title à la Old Guard style. They may choose to hone their initial skills in a less pressuring situation than starting out as a Pro-Domme, and dominants may be more willing to mentor these individuals. Other Dommes entered as a sub or switch, and incorporate that into their DommeCraft. It can be like bisexuality: people move through these identities to better find themselves. But for others, the gray area is the authentic identity. No one Domme, Switch or sub is alike.
The switches that are service oriented can make fantastic Pro-Dommes because the session itself can become a service. They enjoy the experience more if you like it, too. I please others as an owned slave. And as a Domme, I want to fulfill you.
Ah, switches, the searcher of ethereal euphoric experiences. A kinky jack-of-all-trades. The switches’ role is vast: the intimidating butler, the unpredictable jester, the quiet knave eyeing you from the corner, the diplomatic hierophant who just wants to teach. However, most incorporate both sides of D/s into a unique mixture all their own. Just as everyone’s kink is unique, each switch has past knowledge of both sides of the torture device. How they choose to divulge this is up to them. This article is a small part of mine, but I hope it alluded to some lesser known views of the switch.
A jet-setting punk pin-up Pro-Switch, Devan is originally from Denver, but now resides and co-owns a Little Dungeon on the Prairie near Des Moines, House of Synn (@House_of_Synn), offering real time & online sessions. You can find Devan walking her huskies, attending DomCon, and writing for KinkE Magazine about consensual misandry, female domination, & Queer culture. Find Devan on Twitter @devandesade.